School Run

Tiny lady with your Pilates mat,
Size 0 the prize to strive for,

Dietry fad, energy superfood.

You pay your personal trainer,
‘Keep me young and desirable.’

Live long, live young, I’ll be happy.

Can’t stop too long too busy to stay,
Must drive like the wind to get coffee,

And pain au chocolat, Danish.

School run again, 500 yards,
MY kids can’t walk it’s not safe,

A pervert behind every tree.

My Hummer is bright yellow,
It’s just my colour,

It roars like a beast on heat.

Kids legs don’t work, too heavy by half,
Control paddle hands muscle bound.

Too bright, no practical skills.

There’s ‘little’ Jimmy,
‘McDonalds Ma, supersize me’

Full fat cowgrease ‘milkshake’

Drop off the kids, ‘don’t I look great’ speak into my iPhone,
Open the door Jim heave yourself out

Granny knocked flying by your metal

‘She shouldn’t be there,
It’s my bit of road,

Paid for by hubby, a banker.’

  1. Vicky says:

    Like it!!, except the last word should start with a W

  2. I think it’s brilliant. Absolutely superb 🙂

    You obviously decided Land Rover wouldn’t have one down well with some of your readers 😉

    In fact, buying foreign adds poignancy to the tale.

    NB, nothing wrong with iPhones of course 🙂 which I keep forgetting to take with me!!

  3. *gone* down well 😀

    • Glad you enjoyed, I did say I’d do something about the school run. Actually, Landy’s are no quite so big, if I was to get all arty I would say it was the juxtaposition of the tiny lady and the humungous Hummer that I wanted to convey, the stupidity of these people driving something that dwarfs them.

      But as I’m not arty it’s just that I think Hummer’s are ridiculous. Of course I wouldn’t want to offend either! 😉

  4. alisonamazed says:

    Good poem! Have you listened to some of my poems on audio on my blog? There’s one called “I could have been a banker” – sums up my life nicely.

  5. Oh that sounds brilliant. Want to hear more. There must be a title in there. Dippy in Dieppe perhaps. Maybe not.

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